“Harlow Star” “Paul Wilson”

Daily Mail “Alastair Main” slap bum

“Harlow Star” “Paul Wilson”

There has been much interest on the forum in the merits or otherwise of devices such as straps, paddles and canes. Birches, switches, slippers, rubber hoses and polycarbonate paddles have been mentioned on occasions. New on the scene, if that great newspaper of record, The Daily Mail is to be believed, is the gel-filled keyboard wrist rest pad.

The rounded, roughly rectangular pad is laid on the desk in front of the keyboard to keep the wrists a little elevated so avoiding unnatural and damaging wrist bend when typing. The upper surface is antimicrobial and designed to provide maximum skin comfort while the lower surface is non-skid.

Surprisingly, a few swats (number decied by the throw of a dice) with this safety device on robust young Royal Marine bottoms can require the application of vodka as an antiseptic and leave the beneficiary unable to sit without pain for weeks.

At first, the story did not seem to gel. How could something that was soft enough to mold to the shape of the wrists be so destructive to bottoms when laid on with maximum force?

The first thing to note is that the pads are probably rather heavy, perhaps around 700 grams or 1.5 pounds even if only 60 cm or 25 inches long. If the gel flows during the swing the weight might even become concentrated at the business end.

The second thing to note is that the gel may deform very little when subject to sudden impact forces. It becomes very hard under such circumstance.

Being struck by the seemingly innocuous pad, especially edge on, is probably like being struck by a heavy wooden club. Can someone please check?

I wonder who discovered this and how?

Is Royal Marine expenditure on keyboard pads unusually high?

The Corps of Royal Marines is the United Kingdom’s amphibious light infantry force, forming part of the Naval Service.

“Harlow Star” “Paul Wilson”

Daily Mail “knicker nickers” Scunthorpe